I received a package today, which was sent to me from one of my best friends in Vietnam. She sent me a pair of shoes, silk pants, a novel with a bookmark attached. I could say it is the most beautiful bookmark I’ve ever had since the day I started reading.I never got a bookmark as a present before and to be honest, I almost cried when I saw that bookmark with the postcard she clipped in the first page of the book.
Keep being beautiful and happy!
Miss you so…
That was what written in the card. Those simple words nearly brought tears to my eyes. She’s always been so lovely and caring. She’s definitely the one who I can trust completely and one of the friends who will never ever forsake me. And what about me? I’ve been treating her as if she was just an old acquaintance. I’ve been so neglectful. I don’t even remember when we talked the last time. I always think that due to the different time zones, my busy schedule, etc. we can’t talk as often as we want to. But then I come to realize that those things aren’t the real reasons. The main reason is I want to hide myself in my imaginary shell, to isolate myself from the outside world. I’ve got so many problems that I couldn’t share with anyone and I decide to hide my feelings and try to solve them out all by myself. At the same time, I feel lonely and avoid talking or sharing with people. I just keep silent, keep going on with my life and never notice how people around me feel when I kind of ignore them. I’ve been so cruel and blamable. I want people to leave me alone while I myself blame them for not caring for me enough. I’ve been so selfish too. I never reveal myself as well as tell anyone my problems. How can they know what I feel or what I’m suffering if I never tell them? Is it fair for them to be blamed by me but in fact I slam the door on them?
I’m lucky because there’re so many people who always love and support me. And it’s not too late, is it? It’s not to late to change my attitude, to change the way I treat people and most of all, to remind me of how short life is to waste it saddening people I love. Suddenly I realize that to exist is easy; to survive through life is not that challenging we can’t overcome but to live a meaningful life requires much more than just breathing. To live a life and make it worthwhile, we always need to make considerable efforts. And I want to do something to deserve what people give me.
P/S: I’ve got 2 new novels to read. One is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. I’ve been waiting for this Vietnamese version for ages and I’m so glad I’ve got it now. The other one is “The girl on paper” by Guillaume Musso – one of my most favourite French writers. How I love the books’ covers. They’re just flawless! Need to spend some time reading them before going to sleep 🙂