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You belong to me 

There’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic in this cruel world. There’s no shame in wanting someone to love and be loved in return.

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A slightly unusual morning 

We’re too scared and worried too much about the future that we forget to live for the present. Today I figured out that if you’d want to find a man who you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life with then you, at the same time, should become a women who that man wants to spend the rest of his life with. It’s equality. It makes so much sense. Sometimes I get so lost in bunches of questions and the confusion is huge that I don’t know where to start to untangle all the messes in my mind. Think about something more meaningful, more creative to do than just the usual job I’m doing. Self development. Find something inspirational to do. Something that’ll push me to work harder and harder till I’m exhausted but then will eager to come back the next day with motivations and ambitions to reach a higher place. I’ll forget about all the bullshit that’s holding me back, all the “it’s time to get married and settle down”, all the “no men is perfect so just pick someone and get it over with”. No. No. A million times NO. Whatever. If someone is meant to be with me, he’ll show up one day. And I want to be the best self of me when I meet him, and I expect the same from him so we won’t have to go and look any further. We’re all self motivated. We’re all independent who looks for the other half to make ourselves whole. 
I’ll fuck it all. I’ll work hard. I’ll look for opportunities. I’ll not tie myself in any regulations, any rules, any judgements. I’ll get the passport. I’ll go travel. I’ll work my ass off. I’ll learn. I’ll be smart. I’ll earn. I’ll do things I want, buy things I want, for people I love. I’ll not be afraid. I’ll not live a tiny life. I want to expand my soul. I want it to soar. I want to feel and touch and smell and taste as much as my time allows. I’ll go far. I’ll travel and work in a place I’ve never thought I’d travel to before. I’ll meet people and maybe one day, amongst those people I meet, I’ll meet someone who’s meant for me. I don’t know and it won’t worry me too much if I don’t even though I always have such strong belief that I will. The point of life is, it’s not about the destination or a goal that you set out. It’s how you feel and what you earn during the way. It’s how you watch yourself change throughout the periods and realise that you’ve been brave, you’ve been facing all your fears and insecurities with all you have and you succeed. That’s what matter. That’s what make you you. And unfortunately no one can help you to do that but yourself. You have to go on the journey all by yourself. It’s not gonna be rosy. There’ll be rocky roads. There’ll be obstacles. There’ll be difficulties that discourage you. Don’t be afraid. Say fuck it and move forward. Imagine you’re going to see your loved ones. You’ll see them when you get over all those difficulties on the way. You’ll see them at the end of the road. Keep going. 

Be brave. Be kind. Be smart. Don’t forget to look at all the beauties in life and appreciate them. Be grateful for who you are and what you’ve got in life. Be grateful for being loved and cared for by all the people in your life. Don’t give up. You’ll get there one day. Don’t live a small life. Keep going and one day, when you look back, you can put a smile on your face knowing that you have lived a life that’s worth living for 🙏🏻

11.06am

14.9.2017

P/S: Suddenly I remember that this is the day 14 years ago I had my period for the first time. It’s cute 🙂 I’m loving to be a woman! Let’s make the most of it, shall we??

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One day, God will speed your love to me

“She loved him, with such determination and certainty, as if she always knew he was the only one for her, as if she would never know of any other love than his” ❤️LD

31.8.17

I wrote this being so certain about what I felt. Sometimes I ask myself if the love I feel is real or is it just some kind of illusion. 

The only grownup thing I’ve ever done for you was to leave you. Or did you leave me? We just stopped taking. We stopped seeing each other. It just happened, within a blink of an eye. I keep trying to see how you’re doing. You’re a very private person and once you’re gone, you’re gone. We became two strangers again. 

Sometimes I still wonder if you’re happy. My heart still aches everytime I go pass the places where we spent our date nights. Even walking on the street where you live hurts. I wonder if I still cross your mind every now and then. 

“And time goes by,

So slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?”