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Good luck to you, Lucie :D

greenteaHad a day-off today. “Day-off” is such a luxurious thing to me. I hadn’t had such a good relaxing day in a very very long time. As I was going to my Orientation Day of School of BCS (Bachelor of Communication Studies), I asked for a day-off and enjoyed every second of it. I went to Auckland center, browsed around some clothes shop and had my haircut. My hair looks short and silly now but they’ll grow fast in the next couple of weeks so it’s not a big worry to me. After that, I went to a Starbucks, had my favorite beverage (Green tea frappuccino ) and read 1Q84. The weather was so lovely. I was sitting outside on the balcony, enjoyed the gentle breeze and warm sunshine. In that moment, I felt extremely happy and refreshed. No, I was overjoyed for no reason. Or maybe the reason was that I had such a relaxing time without worrying or thinking and I truly enjoyed the life I was living. Good book. Good drink. Good weather. Life seemed so fulfilling and wonderful.

The meeting ran quite well. I saw some familiar faces, whose I used to study with last semester. And there are some new friends too. They all seemed to be nice and friendly. It calmed me down a bit. I was so nervous I would be so lonely when I shifted to this course and the course is so competitive and difficult but now I’m becoming more optimistic. I’ll be doing alright I hope 🙂

The semester starts on Monday. I’ll still be working the whole time this week but there will be some changes next week, which sounds pretty nice and exciting. Fingers crossed. Good luck to you little girl!

hope

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We accept the love we think we deserve

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WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
“It means that some people think they are that worthless that they will settle for abusive love. they attract the people that treat them how they think they deserve to be treated. others may have their sense of self-worth so won’t settle for anything below what they deserve. how you view yourself is how you’re going to be treated is what it’s saying. so, if you think you deserve more for yourself, that’s what you’re going to get, but if you don’t think you’re a good person, you will settle for much less than you really do deserve. don’t depreciate yourself, because one day you’re going to find someone who will give you everything you deserve and more.”

Good things are yet to come <3



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My Sunday and future is a big question

A relaxing evening. I finished work, came back home and did my laundry. I always do my laundry either early in the morning nor late in the evening as I work everyday and I have no time to do it properly. I can’t hang my clothes outside because the weather is currently unpredictable and I’m not at home 24/7 to look after the laundry and I never want them to be soaked in the rain. *sigh*. That’s why I always hang my clothes along the corridor out the lounge and it’s pretty annoying as they can’t be dry in the sun but never mind. It’s still better than getting them soaked and having to wash them off again. 2 more weeks till the semester starts. I’m going to the Orientation Day on Monday and I’m getting a bit excited about it. I went last semester but due to the programme shifting so this semester I need to go there again. Oops, I haven’t paid my tuition but I may leave it for later. Ain’t nobody got time for that, right? Haha. There are so many things to do. Cleaning up my room. I haven’t vacuumed the room for a couple of weeks. It’s not a mess but it’s not clean either. The bed is quite tidy. Actually, “sleep-able” is a better word choice but I definitely need to change the sheet and wash my duvet cover. Anyway, I’ll do some cleaning everyday after work so hopefully by this time next week, everything will be done and my room will be spotless. I need to email my manager to tell her my new availability as I’m going back to uni, which mean I’ll be able to work after my classes. My workplace is only 10 minutes walk away from uni anyway. I’ll do it next week. I’m also waiting for a pair of shoes to come. I ordered them from a shop online and it takes around 7 days to ship so they’re supposed to be here next Monday or Tuesday. They’re on sale, brown truffle dessert lace up ankle boots. I ordered one pair last night and found out that I have a promotion code for 15% off so I cancelled the order straight after but my credit card was still charged but hopefully the money will be returned soon. I still bought them at the end, with another 15% off so the shoes are only around $40 and they look very nice, low-heeled and sturdy. They’re good for uni as I need to walk a lot and I will get sore feet without comfy footwear.

Here’s how they look like: 🙂 absolutely my style… because I’m an ankle boots junkieeeeeeeee

Sexy, huh? lol.

shoesI was working yesterday and in my break, I went to have some lunch at a small place nearby the spa called Federal Delicatessen (obviously it’s on Federal Street kiki) and I wasn’t surprised the place was full of people. Weather has been so nice recently and no one want to miss a sunny Sunday hangout with friends and family and having good meals. I was in my uniform, a traditional Balinese one, which is made compulsory for all staffs in the spa to wear and people looked at me like I was an alien or a caveman. Well, no matter what they thought, I came in and ordered a bagel, Green Peace Bagel and enjoyed it with water because apparently, it is the most healthy drink even though the waitress did come and ask if I wanted a cup of coffee or some other drinks. I’m not a coffee lover and especially at this time, I’m trying to lose weight so I say no to all kinds of coffee and soft drinks. Water all the way. The bagel must be the most delicious beautiful bagel I’ve ever tried (I’ve only had bagels at McDonald’s, to be honest so there must be a huge difference between McDonald’s bagels and bagels in a professional restaurant) and the presentation was so beautiful. I have no idea how the guy made it but yes, it was worth that $14 even though I hardly spend that much money on a lunch at work. I was happy though. It’s been a long time I haven’t had chance to enjoy a nice lunch in a beautiful day. I’ve been burying myself into work and other stuffs and apparently, I forgot that I deserve to be happy and enjoy pretty little moments in life. I also forget how fast a good meal could improve my mood. Balance is the key of life. I always tell myself to balance everything, every elements, every factors that affect my life. I even have a tattoo on the back of my neck to remind me of making balance in everything I do. By the way, here’s my tattoo. The yin-yang symbol.

yinAnd my lunch also:

yyLook so exotic, doesn’t it? It tasted very nice too.

It was a steaming hot day today. I was working inside but still felt the heat. The weather was beautiful though. I was feeling sorry for some people who had to work outside in that intense heat. February is always the worst month of summer as it’s hot and sometimes very muggy. I’m not gonna complain because the weather here is far better than it in my country, especially in the summer. I’m having my fan on and it’s all good. My room is a little bit hotter than the others but I feel quite good actually. At least it’s not too cold in the winter. I don’t really remember how the heat of summer in Vietnam feels like but it’s surely worse than it is here. We used to have the air conditioning on all the time and I couldn’t sleep well without it.

What am I doing here? I had nothing to do so I decided to write something and here I am, telling all the nonsense and I just realized it was 11:11 and I was supposed to make a wish but I missed it because it’s 11:12 now. Haha. I’m having so many things to do and so many plans too. And future still looks so vague to me. I don’t know exactly what I really want to be or what I have to do to succeed. I only know to try my best at what I’m doing at the moment but well, whatever will be will be, right? We never know what’s gonna happen. I’m just trying to enjoy every moment as much as I can and work hard and (trying to) play hard.

Future is a big question but I’m glad to be here, to have a job, to have a seat in university, to have plans to do, dreams to dream and most importantly, to have a life to live and people to love. I should keep smiling and never lose hope in things.

Yes, there’s no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. Find peace and happiness in every moment you’re lucky to experience 🙂

La vie est belle! Life is beautiful 🙂

vvP/S: I freaking love these summer sleeping dresses that my mom bought me last year. They’re so cool and comfy. The fabric is so light that sometimes it feels like I’m wearing nothing. They are made for humid days like this. By the way, I’ve lost about 5kg lately by cutting carb in my diet and adding more water and vegetables. See my collar bones??? No? Well, I have a couple more kilos to lose anyway.

Fighting!!! 😀

xx

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Dreaming of sunrise on the beach at 4am (on bed)

I’ve never woken up this early. 4.50 in the morning. It’s getting a bit chilly at the moment but I’m safe and warm having my big blanket covered all over me. It actually feels like a winter morning with winds blowing out the window and me curling up in bed playing with the phone. My sleeping routing has been fucked up recently and I don’t know what is actually wrong with me. I think it’s because I’m working too hard (7 days) without having any rest and I’ve been stressed out quite badly due to some family affairs and things with the guy. I’ve been thinking too much. Damn, since when did I lose all the positive thinkings and the mind full of good hope? I don’t know. I’m feeling terrible. I’m too young to be this worried and bored. I can’t wait to go back to uni. Another 2 weeks till the semester starts. 2 weeks of working 7 days. Fighting! I have no choice. I’m needing some money so I’m trying my best to get them before I have to focus on the studying.
Wait, I’m getting up to put some lip balm on. This weather makes my lips dry really fast, especially at nighttime. Oh and I have to go to the toilet too. I procrastinated for awhile but at the end, I still have to do it. Can’t wait until 6am. Agrhhhh, it’s freaking cold leaving my bed at this time.
Agrhhhhhh…
I want to go to the beach to wait for sunrise. The last time I saw the sunrise at the beach probably was a very long time ago, when I was on a summer holiday with my family at some beach in Vietnam. I was 14 or 15 I guess. That would be a marvelous scene to watch. And I wish I did it with someone.
“I see Your face in every sunrise, the colors of the morning are inside Your eyes. The world awakens in the light of the day. I look up to the sky and say, ‘You’re beautiful.’”
Ravished by the beauty of God.

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***

Sometimes the things I remember the most about people aren’t the most important moments I share with them nor the moments I look at them very closely when we’re together. Sometimes it’s simply a moment when I accidentally glance at their faces in just a few seconds but surprisingly, that moment seems to be taken by a camera and printed right into my memory and every time when I think of that person, that moment and their faces instantly pop up. Like right now, I’m thinking of him and I realized that I didn’t remember his face very well. I’m not good at remembering people’s faces unless they’re very close to me or we take millions of photos together and I look at the photos millions of times. Other than that, I find it difficult sometimes to recall somebody’s face to make a clear portraits of theirs in my mind. The moment his face carved into my mind was when he was driving and I was in the car with him. A ‘non-expression face’, he used to call it. I kept asking “Why are you looking so serious?” and he said “I’m not looking serious. I’m just not expressing anything on my face. I’m relaxed”.
It’s funny how the mind works. And it’s a bit sad also because the way we remember someone isn’t something we could choose. It’s the past now but sometimes his relaxed face while driving still pops up in my mind and it reminds me of a person I used to know.
Yes, you’re just somebody that I used to know.

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Well, enough drama I suppose. I should spend the next half an hour to sleep before I have to get up at six. I hate early morning shift. And catching the bus on Sunday sucks. But the sun will rise and life is still beautiful. I need to learn to be positive again. Bye for now. Enjoy your Sunday OFF!!!!
Muahhhhh xoxo.

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Room

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I want a room like this, with more pictures in the wall and I’ll have my makeup table too. Mhmmm… I might put up some shelves like this, for example:

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Weird thought. I’m so wanting to move . I don’t like this place so much anymore. Have I ever liked it? Maybe I did. Just a little when he was here. I need a bigger place, well, not necessarily bigger but I want a place with open space, which gives me more air and sunlight. I need trees too…
*sigh*
It’s not easy to move now. I need to find a place which is close to bus stops and shops because I don’t drive.
Silly me. Clumsy me. Useless me.
Never mind.
I’ll move, sooner or later. Just need to sort something out first. Fingers crossed.

20140213-224544.jpgCraving some tropical fruits. I’m dying to see Thailand. I’m hoping that I can go at the end of this year. Street food. Tropical fruits. Tropical weather. Monsoon. Busy places. Chaos. Wow, feel like I’m living again. So exciting!!!

20140213-224807.jpgI miss you but I won’t reply to your texts anymore. I did this morning and I regretted it later. “Don’t answer”. That’s your name in my phone now.
Be strong. Be strong. Be strong.
Don’t answer. Don’t answer. Don’t answer.
It’s 14th Feb tomorrow. Suck my duck. I DON’T CARE!!!

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Let it go

tumblr_mrhkuj2q5H1rxq5upo1_500“It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone, the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t come back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain.
Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? I’ve been there, and you have, too. You’re nodding your head.”

– Henry Rollins –