For the last Sunday evening of the year

“I was a quick-wit boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, American mouth
Big pill looming

Now I’m a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, American mouth
Big pill stuck going down.”

A song of metaphors talking about someone he loves. Has he found her? He’s grown up now. He’s tired of wondering. He’s biding his time and waiting on God to make the decision. He’ll just take a pill until he knows for sure.


The last Sunday of the year. I’m living my 20’s years, years of confusion, excitement, fear, recklessness. They are also the years of dreams, ambition, of silent loves, of tears from my broken heart, of a soul that always yearns for being understood, being sympathized.

My glittery nails. They’re so pretty and they make me happy as I know I’m still young and excited and I know there are many interesting things waiting for me to explore. Another year has gone by.

The last Sunday evening of the year.



Merry Christmas!!!

I know it’s too late to say “Merry Christmas!” to people but as you know, I haven’t been on this site for ages, not really ages but my last post was on December, 2nd so I thought I would love to have a comeback today somehow, just to say something silly or upload a couple of random photos. Sorry for being a lazy blogger. Don’t get me wrong! I love writing and reading and expressing myself and how I feel through blogs but I’m just too busy working and Christmas time is always the busiest time in the year so I have no energy or motivation to keep this blog going. Well, whatever. I’m here and I’m back and let’s see what I’ve got you today =D kiki.

Literally I worked nonstop from December 4th to Christmas Eve and I had only 2 days off over Christmas (Christmas Day and Boxing Day) and I was totally exhausted. My body ached and I didn’t feel like doing anything but laying on bed all day. However, I spent Christmas with my auntie’s family this year so I came to their place after I finished work on 24th and we had a BBQ on Christmas Day. It wasn’t so bad but I’m the type of person who isn’t so into BBQs and stuff like that. But the food was good and I received a present from my cousin, which I really liked. It’s a set of Honey fragrance by Marc Jacobs. I’m a sucker for perfumes and I always dream of having a massive collection of all kinds of perfume in the whole world and I imagine I would build a gallery just to display my perfumes. What a crazy lady!! Anyway, I like the Dot from Marc Jacobs too but the Honey one is a new product and I love to try it on.  It smells lovely, which has a bit of floral, citrus, fruity, sweet elements in it and it’s more suitable for an early 20’s person, which I’m one so yeah, I’m totally happy with it. Because it is a set, the cute bottle comes with 2 tubes of shower gel and body lotion. This is the first time I have a set of fragrance which has body lotion and shower gel in it so I’m getting super excited to try them one at once to see how they work together =) Yesterday out shopping with my cousin, I also bought me a set of L’Eau D’Issey Eau De Toilette Spray by Issey Miyake and I’m wearing it right now. OMG, I’ve been deeply in love with this fragrance for a very long time that I always wanted to get one but it was so expensive that I dare not spend that much money on a perfume bottle. Luckily, I got the set on sale yesterday and I was so happy about it. Actually, this perfume is more suitable for the winter weather as it’s quite intensive so I may save it for this coming winter. In the summer, I prefer something light and fresh like Daisy by Marc Jacobs, which I had from my birthday 2 months ago and now I’m getting another Marc Jacobs perfume from my cousin. Super delighted!!! I call the Issey Miyake’s perfume “Paul Francois” as it reminds me of a boy named Paul, who I had a crush on a while ago and the smell is just so elegant and French that every time I smell it, it brings me to a world where I was walking along the Seine with a cute guy in a summer night, when the city had been sleeping and there were just the two of us *smirk*. Haha. I’m joking but the truth is, I have 2 more bottles for my perfume collection and I’m absolutely pleased with it. Of course there are millions of perfumes I want to own but at this time, it’s quite enough.

*Note: I have to get me a burgundy lipstick and some kind of burgundy nail polish and a burgundy winter coat. Oh, I’m so ready for winter even though summer just started not long ago and there’s so much fun to enjoy but I miss my cozy outfits already. I look like a fat cat in them but never mind. I miss cuddles too =( *sad face*


The second thing I want to show you guys today is a present from a “quite” special person. I don’t know how to call this kind of relationship. It’s a little bit embarrassing actually but he’s quite a nice person and as I bought him a shirt for Christmas, he bought me this necklace in return. I didn’t ask for anything but he bought it and gave it to me on Monday when we hang out and I was speechless. My reaction was so funny that I could never imagine I would be anything like that in front of any person because I’m normally very confident and proud and I hardly get surprised but this one actually hit on me so hard. I was a bit sad that we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean, I do like him and he likes me and it seems so easy for us to become something but it’s hard to explain. It’s complicated. Agrhhhhhhhh, forget about it. I really appreciate what he’s done for me and always been nice to me and he even bought me this pretty little thing. I think I would only wear it for him, I mean, sometimes when we see each other because I don’t want this little necklace to get old quickly (which it shouldn’t be but just in case teehee). Thanks for giving me this. I love it so much! Oh, he also said “Yea, it’s as pretty as you”. Actually melt my heart. Haha. Meow Meow. Miss you!!


Awww, I’m getting tired now. I want to show my fake tattoo and some couple of things too but I think I have to leave them till my next post. Now I’m probably gonna go and watch a movie. I feel like to see a Julia Roberts’ movie tonight, perhaps “Notting Hill” or “Pretty Woman”.

Merry Christmas (even it’s late)!!! I hope you all get what you truly want for Christmas and enjoy wonderful time with families and people you love. Catch you later! =) Don’t forget to smile.


Why I adore the night

“I have noticed that when all the lights are on, people tend to talk about what they are doing – their outer lives. Sitting around in candlelight or firelight, people start to talk about how they are feeling – their inner lives. They speak subjectively, they argue less, there are no longer pauses. To sit alone without any electric light is curiously creative. I have my best ideas at dawn or at nightfall, but not if I switch on the lights – then I start thinking about projects, deadlines, demands, and the shadows and shapes of the house become objects, not suggestions, things that need to be done, not a background to thought.”

Jeanette Winterson –  Why I adore the night